reveal your secrets
by collinfan
Summary: After Morgana reveals her true alliance, Uther makes a choice to rein in the kingdoms that tolrate magic. The first is the kingdom in the mountains where demons are myth. Loyalties are twisted, secrets revealed, and myths come true.
1. at the gates

**Hey everyone how are you *waves* I decide that since the lovely Emachinescat had become my beta and is helping my with the evil grammar and spelling monster I would try again with a new long story! Wish me luck**

They arrived at the gates precisely as the moon rose and were let into the square by the guards. They were tired; they had been riding nonstop for two days. Arthur rode in the middle of the group with Merlin, Leon, Gwaine, Percival, Lancelot, and Gwaine flanked the back. Up ahead where the king, Uther and Gaius.

It had taken only two weeks for the king to snap out of his stupor after Morgana had made herself known. He had called only those who he considered his true allies in the fight against magic. His plan was to rein in every kingdom that tolerated the use of magic. They were starting with the eastern kingdom of Talians.

Merlin was overjoyed by the fact he would be able to meet magic users that wouldn't get executed on the spot. Of course, he wouldn't use his own magic here as he was still with the house hold of Pendragon, but it gave him a wonderful felling nonetheless. He glanced back to the knights and smiled at them; they all knew of Merlin's magic. They had happened upon him as he was using it in front of Lancelot one morning.

Surprisingly they were okay with it and wouldn't tell as soul.

"I expect you had a wonderful journey, Uther?" King Tilian asked. He was named after the kingdom like his ancestors a thousand years ago had been.

Uther got off his horse and clasped hands with the middle age man. "I have had better in the past years Tilian."

The king was weary, not so much the hard tyrant he once was. His face was ashen and his eyes clouded with all that had happened. During the trip they had to make frequent stops for the king to rest. Arthur had told Merlin one night he was afraid for his father.

Tilian, on the other hand, was very young looking and handsome. He wore a yellow robe with a raven on it and had crinkles on his eyes from smiling so much. The people loved him for he was fair and just. He knew the reason uther had come to his kingdom.

"Yes, I feel for you Uther, to have one's blood turn their back on you is hard indeed."

The party flinched ever so slightly and the knights, Merlin, and Gaius exchanged a look. Uther had known for a while Morgana was his daughter but the prince had only just found out. The family had had a quick and heated discussion about this that had not left them as happy with each other as they would like.

"I will have Kargar, my servant, show you to your rooms. Tomorrow I shall have the young ones take a tour on the city, for we have much to talk about I'm sure," Tilian said motioning a boy to him.

Merlin unloaded his pack and was just about to follow the servant when a voice stopped him. "Merlin are you forgetting something?"

Merlin turned and unexpectedly a bundle was thrown at him; it would landed on the dirt path had it not stopped in mid air.

The pair and the king looked up to see a man, his hand out stretched out to float the bundle into Merlin's arms. He smiled easily and laughed, "We wouldn't want the prince's things soiled, would we?"

Arthur tensed at the display of magic in front of him but he gritted his teeth and said a thank you. He turned to his father, who also looked at ill ease and gave a nod.

"Merlin," Arthur barked to his friend who was watching the person vanish into the crowed.

Merlin sighed, wishing for the umpteenth time he could do magic openly.

This was going to be a long stay.

**Hey tell me how I did please I love when you guys review it makes me smile**


	2. on edge

The castle itself was grand, at least the part Merlin and Arthur saw as they were led to their rooms. The kitchen was on the same level as the servants' chambers and parallel to the infirmary. Upstairs was the royal suite and the library, as well as the council chambers. The middle floor housed the great hall, the armory, and extra rooms. The knights housed these rooms as they were put on the west side and Arthur, Merlin, Uther, and Gaius were on the west facing the mountains.

Merlin's room was inside Arthur's in a little chamber. Merlin was impressed with it as he sat his pack down on the bed. There was a downturned full bed against the back wall, a tub for washing, a cupboard on the opposite wall, and a changing screen. There were two doors one leading out into the hall and one into Arthur's room.

"Merlin," Arthur called from inside his own.

Merlin walked through the door and saw Arthur looking out the window; he had yet to put his stuff away. Merlin had a feeling that what was what Arthur had called him for, so he started to unpack. He just put the last shirt away when Arthur shifted against the wall and said, "I hope that my father is able to talk sense into the king."

Merlin looked up at his master and frowned. "What do you mean?"

"It's just that being here, where magic is not outlawed, sets me on edge."

Merlin smiled despite Arthur annoyance. "So you're on edge, huh?"

"I just said so, didn't I?" Arthur rolled his eyes and walked over to the bed.

"Your father, I'm sure, will persuade the king," he said to Arthur and quietly said to himself, "He always gets his way even if it means hurting others."

"What was that?" Arthur asked from the bed. He was under the covers and yawning; he looked dead tried.

"Nothing Arthur," Merlin answered as he stubbed the light.

"Night," he walked back into the room he called his own and dressed in night clothes before falling into the mattress.

"I sure you're right, I mean we rode all the way here," Arthur called again before going quiet.

"Yeah, we wouldn't want it to be for nothing," Merlin said sadly.

He fell into a deep sleep, plagued with crying figures and a shadows stalking him.


	3. of myths and rude morning calls

"Merlin, Merlin wake up," someone said, their voice foggy in Merlin's muddled sleep.

Gwaine smiled, amused, as Merlin snuggled into his pillows and muttered incoherently. He rolled his eyes skyward, hoping this wouldn't end too badly, and put his hand on the covers in which Merlin was cocooned – and pulled. Merlin crashed to the floor in a heap and was wide-awake.

"Gah, what the hell!" he blinked at Gwaine while rubbing his head. Gwaine smiled.

"'Bout time Merlin, thought I was going to have to go get Arthur," Gwaine said, helping Merlin up off the floor and ignoring the glare.

Yawning, Merlin found a set of clothes on the table next to him and grabbed them, then leaned his neck into the other room and found it bare and silent. " Where is the prat? I'm surprised he didn't wake me up to get him ready."

"I passed him on the way to the great hall; he said to come and get you up ," Gwaine said and wondered if the prince let Merlin sleep in, for the prince had looked like he was heading away from the kitchen when he passed him. If so, Gwaine felt happy – God knows when Merlin last had a decent sleep.

Merlin paused for a second then with a fast movement with a wave of his hands and a bit of magic, made his bed. He looked at Gwaine who, even after almost a month of knowing, still looked shocked. He laughed at scooted him out the door so he could get changed.

The party met at the front gates around the tenth bell chime, and Merlin was already having a good day. All his friends were present and he got to see magic performed numerous times throughout the morning, and Arthur was being decent enough about it although he still seemed a bit on edge. The person they were meeting was an elf. Merlin knew of elves and how they were supposed to be quiet, but this proved to be false.

"And this is the smithy, old man Harble tends to it, making every thing metal under the sun…"

Merlin tuned out the elf and watched his surroundings. There were people in the streets doing daily chores; cloths were flying in and out of buckets, anvils were tapping metal on the corner of the smithy, men waved their hands and seed went through the air and into the ground. He felt a sense of calm as people looked at them and waved or called a greeting to them.

"You like it here don't you?" Merlin looked over to see Leon had fallen back from the rest to walk beside him. The man, like the rest, was fitted in clothes appropriate for the climate. A heavy fur lined cloak, a yellow tunic and grey slacks, and a jelled belt with his sword.

"How'd you know?" Merlin asked from the side of his mouth to his friend.

Leon laughed, "We can all tell Merlin; these are your kind of people." He too watched the open display of magic about him.

"If only it could be like this everywhere," he heard Merlin whisper and he frowned. He didn't know what Merlin's destiny was, only that it was great. Repeatedly he had risked his neck for Camelot and Arthur, and he wasn't reigned for it. He glanced at the prince who was in the middle of the others looking like something was about to jump at him any minute, even if he thought he was putting on air of calm. Looking at his young friend also watching the prince and winced as Arthur scowled silently at the magic about him.

"Maybe it will be someday," Leon whispered.

Merlin kept silent as they reached the group who was at the borderlines of the kingdom and the mountains. The mountains went up to the sky and it seemed that the white coldness blew on to the kingdom, making it seem colder than it was.

"A thousand years ago it was said demons lived on these lands," the elf said to them, her voice taking on a note of fear. "They used to come down and raid the villages and take over the people who could not defend themselves. They're colder than ice and thicker than fog it is said; to have one near you is death itself. They destroyed the first king of the lands and ruled. The second king, Tilian, was said to master great power and drove them off in a battle and won back his lands."

The elf then laughed at the knights shocked looks, and Merlin saw even Arthur looked wary. He had heard of demons and read about them, he knew several spells that were said to be able to defeat them. He was glad, however, that he had never met one. "It's a myth, you know? A story made up to scare kids in the night."

The others laughed then and their fears went away, though Gwaine kept looking about at the mountain. They then turned and started to make their way back to the castle, for the meeting would soon take place. Merlin was deep in thought when he heard a sharp, " Watch where you're going, dammit!"

He looked up to see Arthur glaring at a tough looking man with a beard and the others stopped too.

"Excuse me?" Arthur said, wondering why the man was acting like this, for he had only bumped into him.

"I said watch it. You might be a prince of the king who hates our kind, but that no reason to waltz around and try to change who we are," the man leered.

Oh, so that was his problem. He hated that Uther was here trying to take away the freedom they had. Well that was understandable.

However, not to Arthur, no of course not.

"Magic is something that is used to get something, an evil element that twists people's minds, it is bad," Arthur said evenly, finally snapping.

"That is not so, boy, look about you – without it we would not be where we are, a free and peaceful city," the man sneered.

"Peaceful because you scare other, yes. I've only seen it used for bad and I think my father is right in saying that it should be outlawed." Arthur took a steep forward missing the emotion in Merlin's eye at those words.

"You and your father can go to hell." The man too took a step forward and in hand he held a blade. Seeing this, the knights took out their swords. Even though the person made sense no one was allowed to threaten the prince like that.

Arthur, being unreasonable, took out his blade, and to Merlin's horror the prince immediately went for an attack.


	4. fight fight or not

Everyone watched as the prince, the guest in this peaceful kingdom, took a charge and swiped his blade. It was blocked by a shield of magic from the older, gruffer man. Arthur rebounded his sword and shifted his footing; he had dealt with magic before and the trick was to find the weak spot. He shifted his gaze and saw his friends watching as if this was a jousting tournament – amused and scornful. He felt a hot air pass him as the man blew a bolt of light near his ear and he dodged away bringing up his blade and getting the man in the shin. Cursing, the man's eyes grew gold and from the ground, where there was smithy equipment, an axe appeared. Arthur's eyes grew wide and he brought his weapon up just in time and blocked it, the crowd roaring in his ears.

Merlin watched as the two engaged in conflict, strength over magic. He could tell that Arthur wasn't going to win this one, and it was confirmed when Arthur was knocked to the ground. The man struggled as the power grew more massive and sparks flew from the axe. One of the knights, though he was not sure which one, pushed him into the conflict.

He could feel the swell of power from the other man and he wielded his power to knock it aside. The axe dropped to the ground. Arthur stood beside Merlin and smiled, "Magic isn't all that if it can not even handle a mere axe!"

_Oh boy_, Merlin thought, _here comes the gloating._

The man – someone from the crowed had called him Eltheral – pointed a finger at Merlin. "The boy did it, he deflected my magic."

Merlin winced as Arthur turned to him, "Merlin tell the man you have no magic."

Licking his lips he turned and shook his head, " I don't have magic, to- to do so would be a crime in Camelot."

Eltheral nodded, "Then explain to me why my axe dropped!"

Eltheral was one of the most talented magic users in the kingdom and from time to time the king would call on him to perform duties on the outer lands. He was no simpleton and he knew that Merlin must have done something. In fact, he realized, Merlin bore great resemblance to the one called Emrys.

"I don't know sir, really I don't," Merlin said quietly, hating to be the center of attention.

The knights crowded around their friends in comfort and the man took the meaning. He turned and left the party but not before spinning back to the crowd. "You bear a great deal to the one described as Emrys. Boy, to have magic is something you shouldn't hide even if it's against the king's will."

The group was the only one left in the town square and Arthur turned to look at the others, taking in their faces. He had a feeling that this squabble wouldn't be reported to the king or his father, and taking the lead he began to head back to the castle for the meeting, all a while pondering who this 'Emrys' could be.


	5. realy don't know

"So, how did you manage to do that?" Merlin heard Arthur ask as they reached the door of the council chambers, Uther's voice sounding from within.

Merlin sighed, his hand on the door. The knights were already inside, for the meeting was called twenty minutes ago but Arthur had wanted to change from his soiled clothes. The walk down had been quite as each man was lost in his own thoughts.

Merlin wondered for the briefest of seconds if Arthur was trying to postpone entering because of the fight he had had. He had a feeling, however, that it was more to do with the amount of curiosity the prince was bound to have.

"Do what?"

Arthur stopped and smirked at the servant, who looked very different in the royal yellow tunic and grey breeches, almost important, and that was really odd to Arthur. He was used to the country look and neckerchief. "Get in the middle of the fight, the magic was strong no doubt about it."

Merlin shrugged, "Maybe I'm just stronger than you, Arthur?"

Arthur laughed. "Right, 'Merlin the powerful' – you'll go down in history."

Merlin scowled at his friend as Arthur pushed open the door and they walked into a small walkway that led to the final set of doors. Merlin was about to push it open when Arthur grabbed his arm.

"Merlin, whatever happens in there don't lose it," Arthur said to him, looking him over.

Merlin rose an eyebrow. "Me? What about you? Or did the fight not happen?"

Arthur let go of his arms and crossed them, before ruffling Merlin's hair in a brotherly way. "I mean it; you have a tendency to make people and their problems your own. You always want to help and sometimes it can be a bad thing."

Merlin looked fondly at his friend and smoothed his hair back down. "Don't worry, Arthur, I won't embarrass you."

_This place is like home to me_, he thought sadly.

Arthur pushed passed him and opened the door and they could see the two kings at the end of a long table, as well as the council members of both kingdoms settled around them. They walked in and bowed, leaving each other's company but not before Arthur whispered to Merlin, "Who is this Emrys person?"

Merlin gave Tilian a smile and a nod to Uther before sitting down at the table by Gwaine, Arthur in front of him, and answered the question with a shrug.

Because really he didn't know who Emrys was, not at all. That worried him.


	6. honesty

**hey people sorry it took a while to update mr and my fabulous beta reader have been busy but here you go the next chaps! oh to clarify what i ment in the last chap about merlin not knowing who emyras was i ment it metaphorlcy like merlin knows he suppose to be powerful and make ledgend but he isn;t sure how when he has to keep his self a secret! soory for the confusioon!**

"I have reason to believe that this is not just a normal visit, my friend. I have reason to believe you would try to rope my kingdom and I to follow yours. Am I right?" Tilian said, but it was more of a statement than a question.

Merlin had been to many meetings, meetings where Uther would talk about the taxes, the outlying villages, and magic, which was the most common one. He had always either been at Arthur immediate right or back in the shadows, invisible. This meeting, though, was different; he was in a chair at the table and this was for the fate of a magical city full of magical people. He cast his eyes over the occupants and rested his eyes on Gwaine, who was always the jokester and who had apparently decided that it would be amusing to cross his eyes and stick out his tongue. The very 'knightly' act caused Merlin to stifle a giggle.

Uther gave a nod to his ally and said, "Yes, I would hope you would come to your senses because of what happened at Camelot – it was a prime example of what magic can do to a kingdom."

Uther knew it would be hard to convince the king, but he had to try. He could not let what had happened at home happen somewhere else. He feared that if that happened, magic users would unite and declare war on him. They had been lucky against the magic that had plagued the kingdom so far, but that was what it was – luck.

"Uther," the king sighed, "magic is all my people know; it's all I know. To take that away from them, their only way of life, would only serve to start the problem you wish to stop."

Uther took a sip of wine his eyes, and then turned to look at his son. During the conversation, Arthur had kept his eyes down. Now took the hint from his father and cleared his throat, "Sire, with all respect, I am not sure you understand. I have dealt with magic first hand… it is what killed my mother," —here Uther flinched— "and has been lurking in Camelot since then. My idiotic manservant could even tell you first hand how it has twisted and shaped our being."

Arthur glanced at Merlin, desperation in his eyes. So naturally, the whole room also turned to look at him, the council members talking in hushed tones, glancing at the fretting man. Titian looked at Merlin, a gleam in his eye.

"Is it true, son, what Prince Arthur says? Have you seen magic twist the people?"

Merlin swallowed, but felt calm with the king's soft, kind voice. He liked the king for he was a warm, jolly soul, not to mention he was like him with respect of magic.

"Yes sire, that's to say I have, along with Prince Arthur, dealt with magic numerous times. The latter being with Lady Morgana."

Tilian nodded and smiled, "But do you believe it to be evil?"

Merlin looked around the room. Uther was staring at him forcefully and Arthur's face was masked, yet there was a curiosity. The knights, as well of those of the castle, looked almost sympathetic.

"I- that's to say-" He coughed, the truth bubbled up in his throat like bile. He shivered and realized that the window was open behind him. Great – that's all he needed, to catch a cold.

"You may speak your mind boy," Uther said to him, his patience wearing thin.

Uther liked the boy, he was a good a loyal servant to Arthur, but sometimes he wondered how Arthur could deal with him. Then there was the fact Arthur seemed almost attached to the boy. He remembered mentioning that he was going to let the boy stay behind with the scriber, who was another ally and taking care of the castle and he thought his son was going round the bend. Arthur had taken one look at him and evenly told him that wasn't happening. When they arrived back home he was going to try to figure out the puzzle that was Merlin.

"I do not believe all magic is bad. Magic is a thing that just _is_; it is a thing that is both light and dark. It can seduce you to the shadows or warm you with light. We have just been misfortune to have witnessed more of the first."

Merlin held his breath as the words escaped his lips; he didn't know where they had come from, only that they were the truth. Arthur looked at him and glanced away quickly; Uther said nothing, his face becoming stone.

"Merlin is right, my liege, we have been unfortunate in recent events; however, I do not put it past that a magical army might form," Gaius spoke up then.

Tilian tore his gaze away from the servant who bit his lip and stared at the prince, "I will tell you, all of you, that should an army of such happen, the kingdom of Tilian will rise to aid. You have my word on that, but as for outlawing magic, I will not budge."

Uther rose as did the other king and he reluctantly shook his hand. The rest of Camelot people stood up and heard Uther say, "While I was hoping for something to gain, I will except your offer of fighters. To have an army of magic-" he looked as if he swallowed a prune when say this- "is better than none at all."

They closed the meeting and left, the kings to the west along with the council members, and the young men to the east. No one looked back to see that no windows were open to allow a breeze and that black hung in the sky as if suspended.


	7. i have lots of things hiden

"_What if magic isn't all bad?" Merlin asked as they rode into the forest. They were on their way to find the woman that had bested him – not that Arthur would admit it – in the tournament. She had told Arthur that she wanted him it come on the third day. Here they were, in the middle of the woods on a hot afternoon._

_Arthur frowned, "Why do you say that, Merlin?"_

_As they rode, he too wondered the same thing, if magic really _was_ all that bad. Magic could possibly be the reason he was going to the woman, the woman who knew his mother._

"_I mean what if people don't choose magic… What if it chooses them?" Merlin whispered looking at Arthur out of the corner of his eyes._

"_I don't know Merlin, I think right know magic could not completely be a bad thing."_

Arthur stooped at his rooms with his friends, he was halfway there from the meeting and confused, again, about Merlin. His answer had taken him by surprise and he had reason to believe his father hadn't enjoyed it. He looked at Merlin, who was being playfully shoved by Percival into Leon, who laughed. He wasn't clueless; he knew Merlin had a close relationship with the knights, so then why….?

"Arthur, is everything alright?" Merlin asked, waving his hand in front of his friend's face.

Arthur smacked his hand away, glaring, "Yes, idiot I'm fine, but what the hell where you thinking?"

Merlin raised his eyebrows at Arthur. He knew what he meant and at the time hadn't missed how he had looked away from him after answering at the meeting, "I don't know; I just spoke the truth."

"The truth Merlin, you know that not the first time you said something like this!"

Merlin narrowed his eyebrows and his voice rose, "Well I'm so sorry; what was I suppose to do? The king asked me – and no thanks to you, you clotpole!"

"You could've lied Merlin. God, my father will _not_ be happy. But then again, you can't lie worth a damn can you?"

He didn't know why but Merlin's face changed from angry to loathing and it fuelled Arthur's anger, he advanced on the servant but Merlin didn't back away.

"You'd be surprised what I can keep hidden. Then again, I guess you know everything don't you? Urgh, I should've let the guy beat you to smithereens!"

The knights watched the argument between the friends. It was becoming too heated much too fast; you see, they were use to the friends having little banters and spiffs. Calling names and accusing things as they were right now, however, was not good.

"The only secrets you're hiding, _Mer_lin, is that you are a lazy, bumbling _idiot_ who doesn't know his ass from the hole in the ground! Then again, I'm sure the knights know more than me since you all are so close!"

Why'd he bring the knights into this? A image of Merlin holding back laughter from Gwaine's antics at the meeting ran through his head. Was Merlin's relationship with them even important…?

"No, Arthur that's you, if you unclog your head from that ass of yours you'd see-"

Merlin was cut off from doing something really stupid by Lancelot, who quickly took the two men's necks and pulled them apart. They had come to a fighting match at one point; they heaved and look at one another.

"Merlin! Arthur! Stop it! Honestly you two look at your selves," Lancelot said quietly looking at them.

Merlin yanked his shoulder away and took a look at the prince, "All I see is pompous ass and you're wrong – I have plenty to hide from you"

He left through the door, leaving the knights looking at the figure, sadness in their eyes. They looked to Arthur who also shrugged his shoulder away and turned, but not before the knights saw something in his features.

"_And what could you possibly have hidden Merlin?" Arthur laughed at his friend, despite the situation of he and Gwen just having been found._

_Merlin crossed his arms, his head level, "You'd be surprised!"_

_Arthur twirled his hand about and said evenly, "And what is that supposed to mean?"_

_Merlin blinked and shook his head, "Nothing, nothing at all." _

"I have plenty to hide." The words followed not only the knights but also the prince like a ghost the rest of the evening. Arthur didn't go looking for Merlin because Merlin didn't come back.

Not this time.

_**please oh please review for the boy's sake**_


	8. a question with out an answer

Merlin fumed as he walked down the hall and made a sharp turn to the right, he was so… hurt? No, mad; besides, why would the prince's words hurt him, it wasn't like he had not been hiding for the past three years. However, he almost revealed everything, if not for his friend…

He walked faster and cursed the prince and his ass again. Didn't he see all Merlin did to make sure he stayed alive? All that he had sacrificed, all that he had lost? He saw a small pebble on the ground and threw it and it crashed against the window with a ring.

"Temper in one so young isn't wise," someone spoke behind him.

Merlin whirled around, and was surprised to see King Tilian behind him.

Merlin swallowed nervously and bowed – he couldn't believe his luck; first he was made the center of attention at the meeting, then he and Arthur had fought, and now he had just been caught damaging the castle- well a window, but still! He looked through his bangs and saw the bearded king smiling at him, his eyes warm.

"You are a most curious young man. I never saw one who spoke openly about such thing as magic, and with a king who dislikes it nearby. Tell me, Merlin, is what you said true?"

Merlin straightened from his bow and stuttered, "I- w-w-well that to say," He took a breath, "Yes sir, I meant what I said about magic being neither good nor bad."

Tilian gave a nod and came to sit on a bench in the hallway. He patted the seat next to him and Merlin hesitantly sat. He fiddled with his belt on his shirt before the king spoke.

"I heard what the prince said to you, Merlin, and what you said to him. No don't deny it-" he said as Merlin open his mouth to protest. You are right in what you said and brave. Merlin…" here the king paused.

He looked at the boy, really looked. He saw a pale, lean faced, blue eyed man. Merlin was scared and hiding, yet Tilian could see something hidden underneath it all, something he had expected when he first passed the gates.

"Eltheral is one of my strongest men, a strong magic wielder; he along with others have done task for me, I heard from someone that he and the prince got into a little tiff. What I wonder is how it was stopped, as I was informed that someone from the crowd intervened and knocked the magic away before it could hurt the prince. Someone who bears a rebalance to this Emrys we have heard so much about."

Merlin opened his mouth and jumped off the bench, his head shaking a mile a minute. "No," he said. "I don't know what you're talking about, your highness."

Tilian let him speak, his face white with sympathy. He couldn't imagine what it would be like to be so important and not being able to…

"Merlin! Stop please, I know, boy, who you are and what you do."

Merlin closed his eyes feeling his heart sink – he had been found out. Would he be handed to Uther? And Arthur, how would he take it? _He'd probably enjoy burning me at the stake, he'd get rid of me._

"I only did it to protect the prince, he the Once and Future King. He is the freedom I want and hope to have someday. I don't know if I can do it anymore, this place, being here is so mocking." Merlin whispered.

Tilian squeezed the boy's shoulder and smiled, "I know you shouldn't have to hide, Emrys. The prince would think the same, even if you think so would want to see you dead.'

Merlin looked at him in surprise that turned to anger, " He said himself I'm useless and don't know my head from my ass! Even if he knew what I done all these years it wouldn't matter."

"Do you really believe that?"

Merlin gave a nod, the knights understood him better than anyone. He had known Arthur for three years and he trusted him yes, but on this... He gave another nod as if to make the first one permanent.

Tilian moved Merlin so he could look him in the eye, "Son, I offer you a place here in my kingdom, it is not touched by the law. You could make a new start here and be yourself. Would you be leaving those you care about? No, you would only be a kingdom over from them. Would you be able to complete your destiny? No, you be leaving that. It'd your choice, Merlin, but it's the best I have to offer."

Tilian walked away, leaving Merlin more lost than before. A place where magic was free… would he take it?

Besides, the only thing he leave behind were the secrets he kept. Arthur was fine without him now anyway; with Morgana gone there had not been any real threats.

He wouldn't be leaving anyone, really. The knights could visit and his mother and Gaius could live here, and those were the only people who mattered...

Right?


	9. gleam

The mountains gleamed with white and the snow blew down on the village. The people were so busy celebrating and keeping their laws and setting up for the feast that the king had just announced they failed to see haunting ghost like figures gliding down the slope. The figures traveled in a pack and with them the snow turned to fire.

Only a lone man in the middle of the hallway seemed to feel like his body was detaching itself from him and a fever like chill in his head. He balanced himself against the wall and looked around. There was nothing misplaced so he shrugged walking on.

He had a lot of thinking to do and he had to get ready, so he wasn't going to let a simple fever bring him down.


	10. myth, truth, and final asking

Tilian's castle certainly knew how to rise to the occasion. The dinner hall was festive; there were banners of Tilian's coat of arms hanging from the rafters, there was one table up front for the king and Uther's band and separate tables for those of the village and employers of the keep. Soft, vibrant music filled the air as Merlin walked in. It was exactly two hours after his chat with the king and never has he felt so jubilant. This place could become a familiar sight if he let it be, for now, though, he was going to enjoy his time. Arthur hadn't called on him so he assumed he was still angry.

He let his newly found robe sweep with him as he crossed the floor as he tried to find Gaius. He just spotted the old man when he felt a tremor pass through him. He stopped and his vision was hazy. A voice seemed to take shape, _We're coming_.

He spun around but all he saw was Eltheral behind him. The man cleaned up nice; his beard was trimmed and tied back and he had on an armor similar to that of a knight's. Merlin opened his moth to apologize for almost running into him and for earlier, but Eltheral shook his head.

"It's quite fine boy, I forgive ye. I heard ye talkin in the meeting and thanks, it's nice to have someone other than the king to be looking out for us."

Merlin smiled sheepishly, "Thanks and sorry for… you know." He motioned over to Arthur who had just walked in. The prince seemed to have managed on his own and looked almost lost, Merlin felt a little sadness, but it went away when Arthur glared at him and went to stand by Percival and started talking.

Merlin shook his head but he looked away too late. He saw Arthur raise a hand a rough house with Percival and laugh when the knight tripped him a little. Merlin didn't know why but it hurt to watch the almost brotherly exchange.

"The prince, he is a good leader, Merlin, but he just isn't quite there yet. Then again, it's your job to get him there." Eltheral said to Merlin as he watched the young man.

Merlin sighed, "Yes, he is, isn't he, but how am I suppose to-" he trailed off and blinked fast. Oops, that wasn't suppose to come out at all.

"No- wait it's not- I have- oh-"

"So I was right, and I was right about the magic too, yes? Magic is great; it is almost a way of life." Eltheral smiled.

"Yes, I suppose it is. I just want to be accepted, and right now I don't think Arthur is going to be able to do that. If I told him he'd hate me more then he does now, and I'm not fond of him now as it is."

"Have you found that place. The place to accept you I mean?"

Merlin didn't answer right away. He took in the crowds of happy people, the king as he chatted with a peasant and her chilled, magic that coursed through the air. He looked over at the knights as they, along with Gaius, looked amazed at it all. Gaius, seeing him, cast a small smile Merlin's way. He then looked at Arthur, who paid him no heed as he talked with his father. Uther wore his usual attire and Merlin was surprise when Uther sighed and looked at him.

"Yes, I've think I found the place," Merlin whispered.

He was then unexpectedly taken by the hand and yanked as a young woman with a faint blush wrangled him for a dance. Merlin found his self smiling as he let his feet lead them both with the beat. Back and forth, sideways, circling, clapping, and laughing. The pair made small talk and he found the girl to be Liza- almost an exact copy of Gwen in all ways but the color of her skin and eyes.

They stooped as the last note blared and they laughed heartily as Liza curtsied and Merlin bowed. Merlin watched her go a smile playing on his lips the girl also reminded him of a certain girl with a curse. Freya. He hadn't forgotten about her or her words and wondered if she was watching him from above.

"Merlin!"

He turned to see the king and a young man following him. Tilian smiled and took the lad by his arm and stood him in front of Merlin. The boy had shaggy hair and a sharp chin; his eyes twinkled in mirth as he clasped Merlin hand in a shake.

"So this is the one I heard my uncle telling me about? I'm Charles, Merlin."

Merlin smiled and let go. It was odd but he felt relaxed around the young man, almost as he had with…

"You're a shrimp, aren't you?" Charles laughed and winked at him to let the younger man know he was joking.

"Ah, but I can handle a sword," Merlin joked.

"Is that so? I'll tell you what, tomorrow we should have a little duel, huh? I wonder what your prince taught you, magic against sword."

Merlin paled; he couldn't use a sword and he opened his mouth but a voice cut in, "Merlin would be flattened no matter what weapon was used."

The pair turned- Tilian left saying he wished them to get acquainted- it was Arthur and he had a strange look on his face as he looked at Merlin and Charles.

"I'm sure I can handle myself," Merlin ground out.

"Is that so? Don't listen to him; he's full of secrets, like you said so," Arthur sneered at him, the last words addressed to Merlin.

"I'm sure he'll be alright, Pendragon, not all of us need to hold a sword up with ego yes?" Charles quipped back to him as he stood by Merlin.

He liked the young gangly man, he was funny and witty, and as his uncle told him powerful. While he had friends he was busy most of the time and did not have time to just hang out, and when he wasn't his friends, most of them from the village, were busy.

Arthur snorted and turned his eyes on the other. He was a muscle-filled man and had a soft crinkle in his eyes, Arthur thought this sort was the kind that was friends with everyone. That's why Merlin seemed to be enjoying himself because he thought them friends.

"I told you I could take you apart when we first meet, or were you not listening to what I said then either?" Merlin smirked at Charles.

Arthur came forward to stand almost nose to nose with Merlin. He cold see the blue eyes he found so familiar from the past years, they seemed to swirl with gold. The eyes belonged to the person who he had come to trust the most, he felt….

"I told you to try and you did. You ended up in the stocks and then jail Merlin," Arthur said to him, glaring. He could see his father and the knights, as well as Tilian looking at them.

"Yes, but who was it who saved your life? You know what I beginning to wonder-" Merlin started.

"Wonder what?"

Merlin took a step back and looked at his new friend, his old friends, and then back at the prince, "If I should have done what I did that night," he whispered.

Arthur backed up a step his face morphed, "Is that so? Well I can't help but wonder too, cause then we would've never met! We'd be where we are with or with out you, you saving my life has changed nothing in my life, in fact your presence as not altered it!"

Arthur voice was calm yet he was far from felling it. He watch Merlin's gaze harden as he looked up at him. Merlin shook and steeped forward, but was calmed by his new friend and Liza who came up to the trio. Arthur couldn't help but sneer at the treatment they showed.

Fine, just fine!

He turned and walked off determined to head to his chambers, Merlin could sleep with the hounds. He was about to the door when the candles went out in a single flicker and the hall seemed to freeze over with death. There was a crash and he turned to see a black tangled form coming through the windows and sliding under doors.

The crowd stood, transfixed, as the forms came up and looked about. They had three eyes and horns protruding from their heads and wrist. The smell rolling off them was choking. Arthur felt fear squeezing his body as all hell broke lose.

Screams filled the air as the shapes swept over the crowds and with a flick cut their bodies in half. Blood sprayed as people began to stampede. Arthur drew his sword from under his robe and pushed through the crowed. He wiped the air as a demon- for that's what the description from the elf earlier said-came to him, cut it's side. He watched it fall to the floor.

It glowed and he saw a figure, a human man, through almost like a transparent film. He jumped when the face looked at him with pale eyes and screamed. The demon took shape and came at him again. He looked to see the knights were fighting or directing people to the exit. Tilian's people were blasting magic left and right, it had no effect.

Were was…? Arthur tried to look in the direction he had come from. He wasn't worried as Merlin, the- the idiot, had Charles to save him, as well as the other knights. However, the feeling he felt now could be worse for the emotional boy. He thought he caught a glimpse of a brown head as a demon swept passed him and onto the person. He raised his blade but found himself looking into green eyes instead.

As the boy fell the room seemed to get quiet, eerie like. The sounds and people slowed around him, Arthur felt tired and slow. Something tugged within him at his back. He turned to see a demon not five feet away. Staring into those soulless eyes he raised his blade, yet already his life was fading. In the shadows of the second someone screamed his name.

He felt rather than saw someone stand in front of him and challenge the monster. Who would do something so stupid? Arthur gagged on life and death as the demon smiled; the person yelled and grabbed the sword away. He watched- everyone else did too- as the young man pushed the sword and with words pierced the demon. Arthur felt a weight receding as it howled and withered away. Through all that the person tuned, and had a scornful expression as they looked at him.

Bright warming light filed the room, it cocooned, stroked, filled every shadow as it flooded about. Arthur knew it was familiar hew felt it before in the caves when Merlin drunk the poisoned goblet, and other times as well.

The demons screamed a sour shriek as they were pushed up and out of the castle, and seemed to be zipped lined back into the mountains. The people unshielded their eyes to see Merlin lowering his hand, Arthur behind him.

Uther yelled and stormed forward the knights behind him, he picked Merlin up by his neckerchief, "You're magic! Under my nose all along, you bastard, all this time…. He could of killed my son, me!"

Merlin stayed quiet as Uther spat on his face and looked around to see Tilian and his people looking awed. The knights helping their friend grabbed Uther off him. Arthur stood and he too looked at him.

"You could've died, why did you-?" was all he could say.

Merlin shook his head, no tears would fall today. He always knew this would come, only not this soon. "I had to, you, the demon, the people. I am supposed to protect you you're-"

His small voice trailed off as Uther shook him again, "You _dare_ say you're suppose to protect him! He is not _yours_ to protect, not by magic. You just want me to believe I had your trust again."

"Sire, Merlin.." Leon began.

"So you knew!" Uther turned to the knights, his mind far gone.

"No one knew, sire, no one expect me. I thought it was my duty to protect the prince from all danger, I would never hurt him. Do with me as you will, I have no life anymore." Merlin cut in and steeped forward despite the knight's cries, Arthur still stayed silent.

Uther smirked, "You'd rather be hung boy, tortured, burned then at Camelot? Yes I could do that, I'd love that."

Merlin shook his head at the king and let Uther tie some silk from the fallen stands onto his wrists. Arthur didn't want him, he protected him as best as he could, there was nothing else he was good at, Emrys wasn't…

"Emrys will not be going. Emrys has a destiny that was foretold by the stars." Tilian stepped through and shot a look at Uther. He snapped his fingers and the bonds came off Merlin.

"The boy is powerful and you are in a free state, you're hurting one of my people, Uther Pendragon. Your son should be thankful for what he has done for him- he shot a look to the prince who took a glance at Merlin who had his head down. Tilian seemed to be looking at something before he continued.

"Merlin, Emrys, I asked you not three bell chimes ago to consider a spot at the castle, a home, and people to understand you. Your friends are welcome to visit, the knights and Gaius as you named. I ask you again the question: would you rather be killed by those you thought your friends or find your place here?"

Merlin didn't look at the prince as he answered, but, God, wished that he had.


	11. new start

Arthur walked the halls of his castle, _Camelot_, his home. He opened the door to his room and threw down his sword in frustration. The night played back in his head like a spinning disk, as it had for the past days upon the ride back from the mountains. He shivered as the demon flashed before his eyes. He growled and stalked out of the room. He needed air.

_**One Month Later**_

He brought up the steel blade and blocked the sword as it cut to his lower body, he stepped back and brought up his weapon again as another thrust was made. Moving to the side, he quickly ducked under, spun, and cut. The wooden training dummy's head went flying off into the grass. He wiped perspiration off his brow and smiled, finally satisfied. He heard a noise and saw Gwen moving up the hillside to him.

"Arthur," Gwen said as reached him. He acknowledged her by shaking his head.

She drew up a leather pouch, handed it to him, and watched him drink. She bit her lip; ever since their arrival back to Camelot, Arthur was different. Oh he was the same warmhearted, funny, courageous person, but he was different somehow. Gwen looked at Arthur as smiled at her.

"Do you want to talk about it?" she asked him.

Arthur sheathed his sword and shook his head, "There is nothing to talk about, Gwen."

Gwen sighed, "Arthur I know—"

Arthur crossed his arms and looked at Gwen. He wondered why she thought he had something to talk about. There was nothing; she knew what happened, everyone did. The things that transpired were meant to be, and it had been a month now since the mountains.

He told her as much and found himself to be the subject of a death glare. Gwen walked over to him and stood nose to nose. He could smell a flowery sent in her hair and he smiled at that.

"Arthur, you don't mean that, I know you don't. I've seen you and you're different, the things that happened have affected you, as well as the rest of us."

Arthur scoffed, " Gwen, nothing as affected me, now if you excuse me my father wanted to see me at lunch time."

He gently moved her out of the way and took off towards the castle. He walked the roads and nodded his head at the people who called a greeting to him. He walked up the steeps and took a right at the main door of the throne room. He sighed, as he saw a crease in the wall were his sister had blown it up and destroyed the castle; it had taken them ages to clean it up and revise it.

"Sire, sire!" someone called out. Arthur turned and saw his servant coming down the hall; he blinked at him and shook his head.

"Yes?" he asked.

He thought the young man would still be working with the chores Arthur had given him, but apparently not. He looked at the man and for a second another image merged with what he saw. A voice clouded over the voice that was talking, but he was pulled out of it with a question.

"Sorry what did you say?" Arthur asked to the man, who bit his lip.

"I said do you need anything, I'm done cleaning," he said again as he looked up at Arthur.

The prince shook his head, "No, I'm fine. Why don't you go and bug Guia- I mean go and take the day off."

The servant looked at him sadly and walked away, He was then greeted by another severing girl a few paces away.

Arthur looked away from the servant—no, _his_ servant now. He looked down the hall but the servant had gone. He half-expected to see a thin, country, neckerchief-wearing man still by his side. He narrowed his eyes the thoughts running through his mind and entered the room.

Jeffery was his servant now and he was better than anyone was. He worked, listened, and obeyed unlike _someone_ he used to know. No, Merlin was happy at Tilian's kingdom a long ways away.

Arthur was happy to be rid of _him_ and _his magic_.


	12. bonding and permision

Arthur took his fork, stabbed a bit of meat from his plate with it, and took a bite. Taking a sip of wine, he washed it down. His father had asked for his presence at every lunch since Morgana and the events at the mountain. He said that he wanted to get to know his son, he almost lost him mutable times. He learned that Arthur was a kindhearted soul, always looking out for others. He was a good warrior and brave at heart. He also learned that, like himself, he kept thing at bay not wanting to analyze them.

"Yes Father, the knights under Leon's orders are searching the woods as we speak."

Uther smiled a rare smile, good he hoped the knights would at least find some sign as to where his daughter had gone. Gaius had thought a good place to start would be the caves; they were old, and deep, a perfect hiding place. Uther watched as Arthur toyed with his food and looked to the corner of the room. He then sat up straighter and sat down his fork.

"Something troubling you, Arthur?" his father asked him.

Arthur paused before answering, no there was nothing wrong. He watched as his father set down his goblet and stared at him. He wasn't stupid. Uther could sense something had been bothering his son for months… ever since they left… oh!

"Arthur, could this have anything to do with—" He was cut off by a knock at the door. A page opened it to reveal Gwaine, the shabby knight. Uther waved him over as he bowed to the royalty. Uther was forced from rolling his eyes, where the knight may have saved his life and knighted by his son, he was little of a proper knight.

"Yes, Sir Gwaine?" Uther asked the man.

Gwaine cleared his throat, he had always disliked Uther, and the feeling had grown even more since Merlin was forced to stay at Tilian's kingdom because Uther would have killed him otherwise. He remembered how Merlin had been put in the spot light.

_Gwaine watched as Merlin looked at the two Pendragons and cursed – this wasn't how it was suppose to go. He looked at Arthur and saw him staring at the ground and couldn't put help but call him a coward. _

_Gwaine stepped forward to Merlin and smiled at him. Merlin bit his lip, shaking his head. He then said the words that ripped through the place: _

"_I accept your request my liege, I'd like to call Tilian my home," he said, his blue eyes looking at the king._

_Gwaine's shoulders slumped as he looked at his friends who mirrored his own loss. Merlin was not coming home. He turned to Uther who laughed and saw Arthur look at Merlin before quickly walking away._

"_So be it them boy, you are here by banished from Camelot!" Uther snapped._

"Sire, we found no sign of Morgana in the forest, nor the caves. We think she may be hiding in the other kingdoms that we do not have access to."

Uther snarled, "Yes, I suppose she takes after me in knowing how to be deceptive."

The knight and his prince stayed silent and Gwaine took that time to look at Arthur. He looked different almost, but than again the knights haven't been very close to the prince since the incident with Merlin. From the times they were forced to be in his company, it was strained from seeing no Merlin for the prince to banter with.

"Arthur, as I was saying earlier—" Uther said, acting as Gwaine wasn't in the room, "—does this have anything to do with the sorcerer, Merlin?"

Arthur snorted, "No, why would that traitor be on my mind, Father? No, my problem is that I glad to be rid of him, and that I couldn't believe I was so close to someone we despise."

Uther smiled, "Yes, but we got rid of the problem, yes? I trust your new servant is acceptable?"

Arthur nodded and said, "Yes, Father he is."

Arthur heard every word and he spoke like an echo, it rippled through him like a wave. He was aware of the steam coming off Gwaine from his words. He shied his eyes away, and thought_, the sorcerer is with his own kind, he can escape death he brought on himself._

"Sire, I was wondering if it would be possible for Leon, Lancelot, Percival, and I to take some time off?" Gwaine spoke up out of nowhere.

Uther looked at him and frowned, "You are a knight are you not, and a knight's job is never done."

Gwaine stepped forward and said his voice leveled, "Sire we have served unlike any knight has. We would like to ride to see _Merlin. _Tilian said we were welcome to visit. It could be …beneficial to see if he's plotting something," he concluded sarcastically.

He knew it was a big leap to ask to visit his friend, when not a minute ago the king and prince where talking about the "traitor". However, Merlin was his friend and the others didn't consider in the magic law.

Uther turned to his son, "What to do say Arthur? The knights are under your reign, should they travel to the mountains?"

Arthur took a minute to answer, " I think it would be beneficial for us, Father. Mer- the sorcerer – could be somehow warping the minds of the people."

"Yes, I thought the same thing, he is strong… you have my permission, Sir Gwaine, to ride. I'd like a full report on the trip. I for one don't see why you're still trusting the boy."

Gwaine nodded and watched from the corner of his eyes as Arthur got up and closed the door behind him. He quickly followed him, he had something he had been wanting to say to him for a while now and it seemed the perfect time to finally get it out.


	13. a swelling heat

Gwaine followed Arthur to the stables. He found the prince petting his black mare, Lightning, when he walked in. He stood there for a moment against the post before saying, "You've got a lot of nerve, you know that!"

Arthur turned to him and shrugged, "What do you mean, Gwaine? I'm not the one that just asked my father to see the traitor."

Gwaine growled and stepped forward, "He is not a traitor, Merlin can't be, there isn't an evil bone is that body of his. Now tell me what is wrong before I have to _make _you tell me!"

Arthur narrowed his eyes and he closed the stable gate. Gwaine was always one to pick up details, something he hated about the man. He knew that for the past month he and the knights haven't been as close and he knew why. He leaned against the door and barked at Gwaine.

"What's wrong is that for the past year I've been living with an idle, brainless shit who happens to be powerful. He has magic, something that is so evil that it can manipulate people like I said, magic that has been plaguing me. To think that the source has been right next to me is sickening. He could've done something to me and I not even know it."

Gwaine looked at the prince and screwed up his face. He took a steep back into the shadows his voice a whisper, " I can't believe you have the gall to say that about him after everything he's done—"

"After everything he's done! The bastard is a fool for practicing magic in the first place. He has done _nothing_ for me that I have to think him for! In fact, if he were to come here, I would have all the pleasure in seeing him burn, I liked to see the git—"

_SLAP!_

Arthur stumbled back into the door and put a hand to his cheek; he could fell the heat radiating off of it. He looked up quickly to see Gwaine's hand raised, the knight snarling as he walked over to him.

"You hit me!" Arthur whispered.

Gwaine's response was icy. "You deserved it, damn you!"


	14. allusions

**Hiya thanks for all the reviews you guys I love it, brightens up my day! I have a lil note to make though this story is not in anyway slash it is a friend/brother story. Just thought I point that out incase your wondering about Charles and the way Arthur is acting around Merlin and him! Thanks again! **

**sorry for the long wait!**

Arthur held his cheek he could already fell a bruise start to form. He couldn't believe a knight hit him and Gwaine of all people did it! It was high noon so everyone was busy enough not to hear the commotion, which both were thankful for. Gwaine took another step causing him to overshadow Arthur; his fist shook but he kept self-control, this time. He felt no resentment for what he had done; the prince deserved it. He had it coming from the first insult and even now as he lay on the ground he didn't waver his glare.

"You are so blind! Merlin has done nothing but risked his 'shitless neck for you since day one! You don't know him at all, the reason you think he kept all this from you is because you're so blind! It was your father that made him hide not you; god he trusted you he said so on many occasions, I don't know why though. A prince is suppose to honor all their people no matter what, you are no prince if you wish to see a innocent man burn!"

Arthur kept quite he didn't have a thing to say. _He trusted you_, Gwaine's words made his stomach crawl, _trusted you enough that despite all that happened he performed magic in front of you. _He looked up but it was as if was looking through a vile, for he saw Merlin not Gwaine in front of him.

The servant took a step forward a small smile on his lips, his eyes kind as he bent down and stretched out a hand. Arthur just looked at the blue eyes that filled with mist, a thousand words on the tip of his tongue. _What? How was Merlin here and why?_

As if time swiftly passed Merlin jerked back his hand and stood. He looked at Arthur with a sad expression, his face pale and troubled. He swallowed and looked down before turning to the door this time venom was all he wore. His eyes frozen it hellish anger, his teeth clenched.

Arthur stumbled to his feet the world turning. He heard more then saw the door open and Merlin saying, "look at what you've done! I hate you, loath you, I'm glad to be gone!"

Just in a blink of an eye, Gwaine came back into focus. There had been no Merlin at all it was an allusion. The bays of Gwaine's horse and the other knights carried in the wind. They were waiting to see Merlin.

"Sometimes I rather call you your father, a heartless tyrant. You will find your life bleak and desolate because you're eyes are clouded!"

Gwaine spoke again and left the stables. Arthur leaned against a post his horse neighing to him. It wasn't sweat that made tracks down his face.


	15. coming to terms

Riding well into the night and about sunset the next day the trio broke for camp. They were well lost in thought as they sat up their things, Lancelot in particular. As he fed small twigs to the fire, he thought about Merlin, the only contact between them had been, for the past month letters, smuggled in by Gauis. The knights were surprised to learn that the timed yet courageous warlock found him self-part of the king's guard, and what the knights could make out he was in top honor too.

"Before we left I had a lovely conversation with the prince," Gwaine said from on the other side of the campfire.

Lancelot looked up, "So that's who was in the stables with you, I heard shouting."

Gwaine snorted putting down his sword he was sharpening, "I did more than talk Lance, I dealt him a good one! It makes me sick that he can so ruthlessly say crap about Merlin, he isn't grateful for what he did- has done!"

"The thing you fail to see is that the prince is manipulative. He isn't one to show how or why he feels, even when it's eating him up."

The other two turned to see Leon taking a burlap sack off the horse, he had been listening to the whole conversation and decide to input his say. Gwaine cocked his head to the side and stood.

"Are you saying that Arthur was right to say those things in the stables? It wasn't hard to see Merlin thought Arthur as family, he was the only one beside Gauis he felt comfortable around before we knew him. Up until that night…"

Leon spread his hands out in a calm gesture," I'm not saying it was right because it wasn't. Just think for a minute; when has Arthur admitted anything to himself or us when it comes to feelings? When we faced the dragon or his sister god knows he was frightened, though he didn't say a thing. When his father took Gwen away and locked her up even then his true feelings didn't show. No one knows what Arthur's true feelings are about any of this, Merlin was the closes to him, understood him more. He misses him and I know it for a fact…"

Lancelot stood up too and shook his head, what Leon did say made since. Arthur was a secretive person, the only person who knew him was a in a different kingdom. "What's this fact Leon?"

"It was a month ago, I was coming back to the castle, and Uther wanted to see Arthur. I went to his room; but he wasn't there, instead there was mounds of paper on his desk. I know it was wrong of me to look, but I just had a feeling they weren't regular documents. We all knew that was when Arthur was at his worst so I decided to look; they were letters. To Merlin, written by hand, some sealed, but none ever sent!"

"Why would Arthur write Merlin letters? I don't believe it."

"I think for the same reason Merlin never sent him any."

Percival had been coming back from hunting and heard the conversation; all were right by what they said. He sat down and started skinning the rabbit, the others started. Percival was newest to the kingdom and strangely quite, but when he did open his mouth it was best to listen.

"Merlin I think feels that Arthur resents him and wanted him gone. He felt the prince would sooner see him dead, which I fell is false. Arthur probably wanted to send the letters but was afraid, in other words both men felt lost."

"Why would Merlin fear what Arthur thought of him? They had a fall out at Tiltain's before the party and fought again at the dinner, Merlin looked as if he was through with the prat!"

Before any one could answer a twig snapped in the forest not 5 meters in. Percival dropped the hare and picked up his ax heading towards the forest. He saw a cloak flutter behind a great elm a ways away. Heading in the opposite direction he hopped to cut them off, closing in he threw his ax. It caught on the corner of the green cloak and pinned the wearer to the ground. He walked over and a smile appeared on his face.

"So how did you manage to get here? Last I heard you were in a right foul state," Percival said pulling his ax free. He watched the person stand and chew his lip, his eyes sparkling.

"I was- that's to say he was- wrong, all wrong! I was a- Merlin!" the person sputtered.

"Mmm I thought so."

He hoped as the pair walked back that the others were welcoming. He had no doubt that the young man by him was having a tough time as it was, coming to conclusion on what all has happened. He was just now realizing and admitting to himself. He just wondered what all the young man had heard.


	16. sneak

The young person's shoes clicked down the walkway of the keep's defense way, he picked up speed as he hit the stairs and bustled through the door. He hoped to make it to the east side of the castle; find the person he was searching for, and get an hour of riding in before the storm hit. The rumble of the drawbridge from the main gate cracked as it was being let down, footsteps could be heard walking across the planks. As far as he knew no one had business coming to the castle; they were not near a trading route nor was it crop season. The last visitors were here a couple moon cycles ago. Curiosity getting the best of them they stepped into the throne room and hid behind pillars, hoping the king would invite his guest into the vast room. He knew he couldn't see anything if he did, but the ice and stone would make a loud enough echo.

"You think I would welcome you to my castle, when last time things occurred that time can not mend?"

The king's voice was strong as it echoed about the room. Quizzical was what the person felt for Tilian was never one to hold a grudge against someone. The dome spilt in cloudy light in the clouds and a slim shadow appeared on the wall besides the king's.

"I do not mean to be rude I hold respect for all even when others think they don't deserve it. I think you come in here not in choice but in remorse. That I fell might not be to your benefit, do you think he would accept anything to do with you?" the king spoke gently.

There was a moment the person couldn't believe who the king addressed. However, in a rush of movement the shadow crouched down in a bow.

"I don't know the reason I come here, but it's not out of remorse. I know I should've stopped what happened, I was blind. It still lingers with me more than you know. I realized to late what had been sacrificed and at what gain. My father has done wrong; I want nothing to do with his path. I just want to speak the truth; what I should've done long ago."

"In your eyes that night, I saw something and now I know it to be true for it shows again. It's just what if he calls this home? He is _free_ here."

"If he calls this home then I will accept that. If he wants nothing to do with me, if he feels what I so stupidly felt then…so be it."

"Thank you. The others are in the same area as last time, I had a room made up for you across the hall. Jeffrey will show you the way."

There was a flurry of motion and a gust; the king had used magic to teleport back to his chambers. As the man left he glanced out the dome and breathed. He didn't notice the shadow lurker smile a small smile and disappear.


	17. of that day

_Uther and his knights rode single file through the gates, an unsaddle horse could be seen from where the man was standing it was tied to Gauis' horse. Tilian's people looked on the kings there faces blurred by the smudged window. It was no idea to think they were scornful. The prince rode farther back from the rest; his hair over his shoulders, back hunched. He must've spurred his horse the person thought as he reached the gate in a series of five hoof beats._

_"Traitor!"_

"_You know nothing of our kind!"_

"_He saved you and you don't even care! Commend him to death you would!"_

"_Burn in hell!"_

"_The knights would be better rulers than you lot!"_

_The man couldn't hear the shouting because the heavens opened and water poured. Though even through the rain he could tell one didn't look back though it was plain he looked forward through it all._

"Merlin! Oi, Merlin!" Charles yelled as he came into his room he shared with Merlin since he came to live there. The boys were put together by the king and the fact all the other guards had rooms with their other brethren. As they were not high in rank they also had to share which was fine for the two friends.

Merlin turned away from the glass window and after a minute smiled a little bit. He had changed over the past moon cycles; he had grown much taller, his hair was considered shaggy, and he had built muscel during training and on mission for the king.

"You want to go riding?" Charles asked his friend. He was dressed in a cotton tunic and slacks. It was different from the normal chain mail and bronze cloak.

"It looks like it's going to rain," Merlin said distractively as he shook his head, he hated rain, and it wasn't from the headaches he got from coming storms either. He always got colds going out in it ever since he went for a ride with…him.

"Not for an hour or so. Come on we've been stuck in this blasted keep for weeks, please!"

Merlin picked up his cloak from his side of the room and pushed passed Charles, the young man caught up with him as the passed through the lower halls. It seemed easier and faster then traveling through the main ways with people bowing enough to slow you down. They called greetings to Lisa- she had become a good friend and partner in crime during the boring weeks. In fact Merlin thought she had a thing for Charles. Merlin didn't know why but when he got into the stables he didn't' help Charles with the horses instead he looked out the window. Almost like mist a man with blonde hair appeared outside the wall. He looked up at the sky and put a hand through his hair, but went back inside with a last look.

"No. I can't…" Merlin whispered to himself. He went to look out the window more but a merchant cart pulled up barricading his view.

There was a thunk as something collided with his back; Charles has magicked a brush hitting him in the side. His heart raced a mile a minute, his palms sweated with anticipation and confusion. Charles took a note of this and threw a questionably look.

"Charles I think Arthur's here!" Merlin voice spoke for him.

Charles handed him his reins and pursed his lips. He pinched his brow and sighed, "Mer, what reason would that- that prince have in coming here? He wants nothing to do with you remember?"

Merlin looked at Charles and slowly shook his head, and gripped the lead on his horse- a mare given to him by Eltheral. He mounted and they made there way to the pass.

"You're right mate; don't know what I was thinking."

_The other one looked forward and the other one straight ahead. The man closed his eyes what's done was done. No looking back, just the mist to divide them like always._


	18. long time no see

The horses trampled along the small stretch of forest located just before the mountain past. The air was silent but that was expected with a storm on the way; it was going to be strong to, Merlin thought.

"Ah, finally fresh air," Charles said breathing deep.

Merlin smiled despite himself, "Well we could've came out here sooner but someone kept catcalling the ladies!"

Charles waved his hand as if he was shooing the accusation away. He trotted a little father ahead and said, "Well what was I to do, the ladies were coming on to me! Besides they were of the court, it's my job to woo!"

"_And what do you expect to do?"_

" _Woo her of course!" _

"_Right, well, good luck with that!" _

"_So little faith in me!"_

"_Nah, you just can't get a girl!"_

Merlin shook his head shaking away the faint annoying recollection. He ducked under a low tree branch, and with a hand; made it smack his friend in his head.

Charles glared at him; he hated it when Merlin could do the hardest of thing with a wave of a hand. Merlin laughed, "It caused us a week inside the castle when Sir Almend caught you with his daughter!"

"How was I suppose to know she was engaged to-"Charles stopped and looked out back down the road. He could see a distant figure walking fast towards them, yet he was too far away to make out any fine details.

"Gwaine!" Merlin gave a shout of surprise. He reared up his horse and set off down the road, his cheeks flushed from the wind.

He pulled to a stop while his mare pawed the ground with her hoof. She could feel her master's happiness through his handling on the reins. The gruff looking man was indeed Gwaine; he smiled at Merlin and laughed.

"What are you doing here; I thought for sure you'd never get to visit!"

Gwaine took in Merlin and realized he looked different, yet he was still the same; lopsided smile, wide eyes, clumsy in a sense. He held onto the mare's bridle, "We just got done looking for Morgana in the cliffs; there was no sign of her. We were getting fed up with uther and decide to see you. Beside letters don't cut it with me mate!'

"Uh yes well, I didn't think you'd find Morgana, especially sine Arth- I- I went looking for her in the rubble after the attack."

Gwaine nodded his head at his words and waited for Merlin to look at him again. Merlin trailed his eyes along the trees and swallowed, truing his head back, "So who's all with you?"

"Well, Lance, Percival, me, Leon, and Merlin you should know…." Gwaine paused.

Merlin raised his eyebrows at the faint hold back of the knight. He didn't think it was anything bad, he hoped so anyway. He jumped off his horse and looked up, "What?"

"Merlin, also traveling with us is-"

"So that's who's here!"

Coming off his horse in a swift move was Charles, he smiled at the pair as he held his hand out. Gwaine took it in his and gave it a shake before pulling it back. He gave the young man a once over; he knew this was the same man that was with Merlin at the party, the same one who Arthur started in at before Merlin.

"What brings you back to the kingdom?" Charles asked Gwaine.

Gwaine cleared his throat, "We came to see Merlin, your grace."

Charles laughed at this, "Oh there no reason for that, I might be nephew to the king, but I'm hardly royalty. Just ask Merlin!"

Merlin nudged Gwaine in the arm and smiled at him. He was glad to see one of his friends it has been to long. He also like the fact Charles was getting along with Gwaine to, but seeing Gwaine made him think…

_No! None of that_, he thought.

"Shoot, I must've forgotten it!"

Merlin saw Charles close the sack tied to his horse and roll his eyes. Merlin knew that Charles kept every thing in that sack when they went riding; food, weapons, money. For him to forget something was…odd.

"I left the food back at the keep, I thought I grabbed it. Merlin I'll be back in a minute alright, unless you don't want to go riding anymore?" Charles said staring at him.

Merlin glanced at both men; one he had only conversed with through letters and one desperate to go riding since their keep groundation. Gwaine smiled at him and nodded his head, he understood.

"Merlin can ride besides I'm sure we need a rest anyway from riding here."

Merlin patted Gwaine on the back and turned to Charles, " I'll go get the food, I need to get something from my room anyway. I'll be back!"

He got on his horse and rode off, leaving the two men behind. Gwaine pulled his cloak around him as a high breeze danced through the forest; Charles spoke softly.

"I know that the prince is here with you lot. I saw him on my way to get Merlin; we've been in the castle for weeks going stir crazy. I know for a fact Merlin want nothing to do with him, I can't blame him. He told me once he'd rather die than see him again, called him some names tot. Merlin won't say anything to you about him, that's just the way he is. In fact he wouldn't hesitate to use magic on him"

Gwaine couldn't believe it, Merlin knew he was here. Merlin was many things but being outspoken as this man said he was didn't seem like the truth. In fact while Merlin may hate Arthur he still would act civil if by chance, they saw each other, not saying he forgive him.

Merlin was coming back so Gwaine held his tongue. He watched merlin toss the bag to Charles and laugh as it collided with the man's head. It was plain to see the friendship between the two and the brethren feelings that lay there.

"Are you sure you don't want to ride with us?" Merlin asked from on top his horse, he had on a different clock, a heavier one.

Gwaine smiled, "I'm sure. Besides you look well trained in the arts of riding, don't need my protection anymore."

Merlin gave a short bark of a laugh, before waving as the two rode away. Gwaine watched till they were out of sight. He dropped his shoulders and hung his head; he was confused, very confused.


	19. in our midist

He walked back to the room he was sharing with the others and wasn't surprised to see Arthur there against the wall. He looked, distant almost as if he wasn't there. The other's looked up upon his entrance. He went over and sat down a wooden chair, it creaked against his weight.

"Did you find him?" Leon asked him from the window. They had elected Gwaine to search the castle for Merlin; the others wanted to go but wanted to keep an eye on Arthur too. They had been trying to get him to spill the talk he had with the king, but he wouldn't budge.

Arthur shifted his body and he too looked at Gwaine. He had been waiting for the knight to come back; back to tell him where Merlin was. He dreaded and craved the answer. Gwaine looked at Arthur when he spoke, "I found him. He was out riding before the storm hit."

"Riding, Merlin can't ride to save his life! How is he then?" Arthur spoke up waving his hands.

"He is actually pretty fair at riding, the kings guard fixed that. He's alright he'll see us latter, his friend Charles is with him. He- he, uh-"

Arthur crossed his arms, "He what?"

Arthur wouldn't admit it but he was dreading it now. While he was glad to find Merlin was well and a good horse rider now, he couldn't brush away this feeling in his gut. A feeling he felt multiple times before this.

"Arthur, Merlin doesn't want to see you. He knows you're here I think. Charles told me some things."

"What kind of things," Arthur whispered.

The knights felt at that moment, a shroud surround the prince and crush him. They couldn't do anything about it.

"I know for a fact Merlin wants nothing to do with him, I can't blame him. He told me once he'd rather die than see him again, called him some names too." He quoted Charles exact words.

They watched Arthur for a minute but he portrayed nothing. He went over and grabbed his pack slinging it over his shoulders. He nods at the others heading to the door.

"I don't blame him, no not one damm bit. It doesn't matter anyway. Don't tell him I was here if he doesn't know, probably won't ask. I'll see you back…home."

It was a full minute before anyone said anything; Leon closed the door and lay against it, Percival shook his head, Lancelot looked at Gwaine.

"I think we might have a liar in our midst."

The words spoke each knights thoughts out loud. The question was, how much was real, and what to do know.


	20. not camelot

It started sputtering rain as the duo rode into the mountain pass. They kept on, though for what was a little rain? Merlin leaned into the saddle matching Charles' pace. I was hard as he still wasn't use to the rocks.

" You like it?" Charles asked, pulling the crawl over his head.

"What?"

Charles rolled his eyes something Merlin was used to, "Living here!"

The rain left Merlin's skin cold with ever drop, he wanted to turn back. He thought that if he was to turn around he wouldn't be able to see the castle through this muggy fog.

"It's different," he said simply.

Merlin let the silence fall between the two as they rode farther on. He could only hear the hoof beats and the slow cascading locus hums coming off the mountain. He leaned that even though it was colder here the insects used that as a place to hide for several years, and that they also called the mountain their…mating grounds.

"It's still not Camelot thought," he whispered.

Charles stopped his horse on the path, the mare breathing white mist breath into the air. Merlin didn't have to see his friend to know what his face looked like.

"Of course it's not the same! We don't arrest, kill, or exile those for being who they are! You cant tell me your missing that place!"

Shifting so he could dodge the falling rubble on the road he wondered if he should keep his mouth shut, but seeing how things have yet to go right today he found himself saying, "I don't know. Camelot was a home to me; the people there were like family."

Charles reached out and grabbed Merlin's bridle yanking him to a halt; he maneuvered so they were side by side with each other. Holding up a finger he said evenly, "That place is vile, didn't you hear that the king wanted to kill you for saving his son's life? The prince, the man you served every damm day, said nothing short of about not wanting his father to burn you!"

Snapping his head to look the other in the eyes he felt a slow churning motion in his stomach and in his blood, he couldn't explain it only knowing it was ill willed.

"He never said that. It was his father like you said."

"How can you stand up for him Merlin, next you'll be saying he didn't mean the things he has done! I don't understand you," Charles shook his head. His voice rose with him.

"He's gone from my life, so what I say hardly matters does it? I don't have to risk my life anymore and if it was fake or not I don't care, alright. Look lets go before the storm hits!"

He watched Charles back up and directed his horse down the mountain. Merlin waited a second his breath hanging in the mist.

"_Arthur I think we should head back," Merlin said as he tripped over a rock and regained his balance. He noticed the prince had stopped to allow him to catch up and wondered how many times they've done this in the passing hours._

_Arthur looked up to the sky and he asked slyly," Not afraid of a little water are you Merlin?"_

_Scrolling at the prince he shot back, "I don't need your stupid armor rusting again. Why you don't wear just a simple tunic like every one else when we go hunting?_

_He said the last part to himself but loud enough for Arthur to hear. The prince just graced him with a smile and pushed on leaving Merlin to look up at the sky. His eyes trailed the horizon and his eyes clouded over. _

_Scooting his foot in the grass he said meekly, "I – truthfully just don't like storms."_

_Arthur looked back at him and he could feel the heat on his cheeks. He never admitted that to any one, not even Gauis. He figured if any one found out he be a laughing stock, but he didn't want Arthur to see him unable to control the reactions he got when the lighting began to flash. _

_Arthur shouldered the prized game as he brushed past Merlin. He didn't say anything as Merlin glanced back at the trail they had been searching hours for. _

"_Come on Merlin," Arthur called back to him._

_Merlin's breath hung in the air as he sprinted to Arthur 's side. Later that night it didn't occur to him that he didn't even need to question Arthur's actions for what he did._

Merlin pulled at his cloak so it covered his body more as he head back home.

_Just look at where you are now, it was wrong to assume anything._


	21. was it somthing i said?

He arrived back to the castle without a word from Charles as he passed, he sighed_. It seemed_, he thought, _that I'm better at pissing people off rather than being friends_. He found himself walking into the west wing of the castle and into a familiar stretch of walkway; he heard footsteps and looked up to see the knights of Camelot. They must not have noticed him yet for they were talking very quietly to themselves, Merlin saw Leon point to the door leading to the main gate. Before he could take a guess to what they were on about they spotted him.

"Merlin!" the group of men chorused at once. Merlin then was rushed into the middle of the group; his hair was tussled, he received slaps on the backs, and a few brotherly hugs. He found himself inside the room he knew the knights occupied last time, the room he had stayed in was not a few hallways away. He hadn't been down here since. As the knights begin talking he looked around not surprised to see the beds tussled from slung packs and their swords mounted neatly on the wall.

"Hey, oh mighty warlock, you still with us?" Gwaine asked when Merlin hadn't answered.

Merlin smiled at Gwaine and didn't miss a beat as he took off his cloak. He sat down on a wooden stool and said, "Yes, Gwaine I'm listening. I've been good to tell you the truth, guard duty's been keeping me busy."

Leon laughed, "Never thought you one for guard duty Merlin!"

Merlin shot back, "Yhea well it kinda came easy seeing as I've been doing it for a while. At least this time around I can be rewarded for it!"

Merlin bit his lip and looked away as the room filled with a pulsing quietness. He ran a hand through his hair and smiled at the others- who had gone quiet and still -"I think I could probably best you guys with a sword now!"

Lancelot picking up the mood from Merlin smiled with a mock glare, "Is that so? Well Merlin as I recall you horrible with a sword, remember when we were drunk and had that match?"

Percival laughed, "Yes, and dear Gwaine had to go to Gwen so he could get a new pair of trousers."

"Hey, it was your idea to make me go swimming in that blasted cold lake for a stupid rock you thought was gold?"

"Well, Merlin did lose that bet. He is horrible at combat even when drunk!"

Merlin was laughing so hard he had tears running down his face. He hadn't been this happy in a long time. He wiped them away and pretended not to see the smiles plastered on the knights faces. He stood up and opened the window to let some air in; it was raining and coming down hard.

"So Merlin, Gwaine told us you and that Charles kid seemed to be close, he's the one that has a relationship with the scurry maid right?" Leon asked Merlin.

Merlin smirked, "Yhea if only he had the guts to do so. Charles is a good friend he was actually the one to make Tilian, well you know."

He paused and scrunched up his eyes brows, "He's like a brother really. We went on a mission few months back with the king. We were stuck on the mountain searching to see if any demons still take residance there. When a snowstorm hit, we were there for several days. We learned we had some stuff in common besides magic; we also had each other's back. So we've been like family I guess ever since."

Leon didn't know why but the last sentence seemed like a question rather then a statement to him. Though why would Merlin be contemplating on something so trivial as a friendship? Didn't he want someone who he could be friends with, that understood him? He walked over to Merlin and sat down, watching the young man before speaking.

"Well I sure you want new of hom- of Camelot. Lets see, Gwen is fine she miss you, Gauis whishes he could've came but there a nasty sickness going around and he needed time to make the medicine, Uther is still Uther the ass, and.."

"How's the prince?"

_Interesting, and here I thought Merlin didn't want anything to do with him, _Gwaine thought amusingly as he fingered back over the other man's words.

"He's um, still a prat, but we all knew that. He's been busy with paper work from the king and ordering his servant around…-Gwaine winced, why did he say that? - and he um well actually…"

Leon stopped, wondering what He should do, he was always one to notice Merlin's feelings faster then he let on. Merlin's eyes flashed with a quick sadness. He then stood up, paced the room, and shocked the knights.

"You know I don't know why, but I sent Arthur a letter a week after you left. I don't know why I really don't all I was asking for was trouble. Why should I send someone a letter when they want nothing to do with me or with my kind? Never got a reply not that I was expecting one, of course." He looked to the knights with genuine amusement; he found it funny for some reason.

The knights were puzzled. Not by the fact, Merlin sent the prince- who wanted nothing to do with him at the time a letter, but at the fact, they never saw said letter. As a knight they were in charge of some of the mail, and the servants the other half. However, the servants were trusted friends and believers in Merlin. The only letter they ever saw were from Merlin to Gauis.

A knock brought them all out of their thoughts when Merlin opened the door. Coming in was a page named Darwin; he was a friend of Merlin's. He smiled at the other warlock and with a snap of his fingers produced a scroll. He looked at it then said, "The king wanted to tell him this in person, but he's a little caught up at the moment. He wanted to know if the knights of Camelot, along with you Merlin he implied with a nod at Merlin, and the prince of Camelot to have dinner with him in the great hall."

He looked up from the scripture to see the knights flinching and looking at Merlin who had gone really pale. He licked his lips and resumed a carefree expression as he talked.

"The prince, do you mean to tell me that Arthur is here, in the castle?"

Percival seeing the tension form takes a step forward, "Merlin he was here, that is what Gwaine was going to tell you, but he left. Seeing as you didn't want to see him."

The knights watched as Percival chose his words carefully and was not surprised in the least by Merlin's actions; it only confirmed what they had thought earlier.

Merlin walked over and grabbed his cloak before rushing out of the room, leaving the knights and the page alone. The knights gave each other that 'look' and started out the door.

"Was it something I said?" the page asked himself, for he was really confused.

He wasn't the only one.


	22. betrayal

Arthur let the thunder rumble as he traveled across the drawbridge, and let the rain carry his sadness to the gouge of water rushing through the moat. The sadness he felt was not because he traveled all this way…it was because he knew that it would end this way and he had foolishly hoped it wouldn't. He shifted his hand to the amour gaulet on his wrist and threw it off as well as the one on his other hand; they were beginning to get heavy and ache. He just made it to the drawbridge when he hears the wind yell in his ear.

"ARTHUR!"

Arthur pulled to a halt, his heart beating faster and faster; the wind couldn't speak, and it sure as hell couldn't sound like…. He turned and saw coming through the downpour, completely soaked, Merlin. The young man seemed to be dragging through the mess and came right up to Arthur gasping for breaths.

"wha- what are you do- doing here?" Merlin asked as he doubled over clutching his stomach. His legs burned from running so fast and his head, woozy from the lack of breaths he took.

"I'm leaving," the prince said simply.

Looking up Merlin studied him through his bangs; he shook his head. Here he was standing in the rain and all he got was " I'm leaving!" What was that all about and he found him self-asking Arthur the same thing.

"Well you shouldn't have come in the first place," was what it came out as.

Arthur was so close he could see the stone blues eyes of Merlin as he spat the sentence at him. Great he had the most powerful warlock mad at him. Well there was no reason for Merlin to question him or his motives. He gripped the reins of the horse and yanked back, but the horse shot up and kicked instead of turning around. Merlin dodged just in time as the mare came back down were he was a moment ago just standing.

Merlin knew that animals react on their master's emotions and at that moment, Arthur was mad just as he was.

"You're right, I shouldn't came don't know what the hell I was thinking! I've been just fine without you shadowing my every move and messing up all the time! I must say my new servant is way better; he doesn't have a damm thing to hide! I don't know what the hell we were thinking; a prince and servant being friends!"

He felt anger boiling up in him as he stepped forward and yanked the prince of his horse. He stood there and the only thought in his head was; so then, it was all a lie! He flicked his chin up so they were eye to eye.

"You sodding prick I wished that I never heard you were here! Do you know that seeing you is like being slapped, because I'm just reminded I can never go home or see the people I think of as family? I would've died had I gone back, I sacrificed myself for you plenty of times in vain, but this time I was not going to do it. I was not going to go back just because I was found saving your life!"

Merlin's voice died down in the wind as he finished, he felt small and weak. He watched as Arthur looked over his shoulder as if something could ease the troubled looks. He knew Arthur's rage and was ready to fight, and win if it came to fighting. Arthur balanced on his left foot and leaned forward and whispered, "Do you really think I'd let that happen?"

Shaken Merlin backed up; he felt confused and not even the rushing heat of magic could calm him down enough. "But you hate me; my kind, the very word of magic. You didn't utter a word when Uther threatened me, you just stood there. All that day you just stood there and mouthed me. Turning a blind eye as you always do!

Arthur just looked at him and chewed his lips, his eyes losing color. What was said was so right, all he ever did was stand around. He almost lost his best friend because of it. " I – no I didn't. My father was and is wrong, I'm wrong. Merlin-" he took a step forward his voice breaking, "Camelot will always be your home."

"You! I thought you'd be gone by know, Merlin doesn't want a thing to do with you! How can you come here and show our face, and hope Merlin will be so forgiving after all you've done. What, did you hope to be friends again? You riped him of everything, only to crawl back, that's low! Shit, Merlin is like a brother to me and you were too deadpanned to see that, that he was the only one you could trust! You didn't even write to him but he took the time to write to you!"

Charles stood there with his rapier drawn; it shown like ice and pulsed with magic. If given the chance, Merlin thought, he'd strike. He was reminded of after the prince left how Charles acted, he thought it was only was because him and Merlin had been at the time, becoming friends and that Uther as well as Arthur was trying to turn the city upside down…but now….

Arthur glanced between the two and while his eyes concentrated on Charles' movements and his mind struggled to make since of what was happening. He spoke to Merlin, his voice even and laced with truth, "I never sent any letters because I never received a letter."

Charles grinned evilly and swiped his blade," Of course not! I never sent it like I promised!"


	23. power to powerless

Lighting flashed across the dark sky and landed with a flash on a stone causing a deifying boom. Those inside the castle took notice of it and looked out the stained glass window wondering what forces Mother Nature was summiting them to. The knights as they raced to find Merlin, as they lost them in the crowed of staff members, who seemed to busy to tell them how to find the drawbridge. However, it was funny how the three young men outside, in the middle of it all, took no notice of it. Merlin cut hi glance over to Charles and saw the man for the first time. He saw the truth of his words as he snarled at the prince.

"Why- why would you…?" Merlin asked him.

Charles laughed, crossing his arms, "I don't know anyone who would send a letter to someone that called them worthless and didn't see the things- the entire god willed things they had done for them. Why, Merlin, would you be so stupid? We both know you despise him, don't cover it up for him!"

Merlin flinched at the other man's tone and swallowed a lump in his throat. Those words hurt him because it seemed that once again he was being hurt be someone he thought he could call a friend….and this time the person meant it! Hugging himself he spoke, "I don't hate Arthur. I never did I was just so- I couldn't live with having to hide anymore and in front of people like me!"

In that, instant Charles screamed and unleashed a ball of light out of his very soul. It spread out and as if it had fingers pushed Arthur to the ground. Merlin watched as Charles hair and cloths flew in many directions as he yelled words he couldn't hear over the storm. He felt his throat close up as he saw the magic pushing down on the prince, pinning him to the ground, and suffocating him. All he could do was feel the pulse of magic in his core unleash straight at the other man.

But for once Merlin's magic, his very will isn't strong enough to help Arthur!


	24. flight

Charles smiled as he flew into the air and cast a ring of fire around Merlin making him stumble back out of reach. Shielding his face from the flames Merlin looked to the right then the left, there was nowhere to hide. He turned around and started running faster and faster back to the castle till he reached the tower. Using body strength he didn't know he had he scaled the tower. Using his hands on the indent stone, he finally made it to the top. Looking out, his mind seemed to focus on the view from where he was and the storm moving in. He shook his head, _no time for sight seeing you idiot_, he thought. Hearing the thunder rumble, he crouched and slid onto the roof down below him, missing the lightning that struck. He started straight as Charles, who in turn, looked back.

"How amazing, I'm stronger then the legendary Emyras. Looks like this time you won't be able to help the prince. It would be in everyone's favor. No more deaths to be counted for being something you have any control over. You of all people should be happy you can go home. Uther won't know what hit him if we take him be force. You say you don't hate him, but that's duty talking."

Merlin watched as he glanced down at Arthur who was slowly struggling for air. Merlin felt nauseated at the sight and wondered where the knights were. Nevertheless, even if they were to arrive their would be nothing they could do. He had half a mind to think the wizard in front of him probly sealed the castle doors up.

"That's a lie! Arthur was not responsible for all those who died it was his father! He hated killing the people as much as you did! His father made him, made him drag those people out of hiding he didn't have a choice! He didn't want me to leave I know that now and I knew it then he was just…"

Charles snorted at him as he trailed off and floated down so he was now by Arthur. He crouched down so he could look into the brown eyes that were losing color and his chest having more elapsed time in each breath. He was overjoyed at the mere thought of all this. He watched as Arthur tried to raise a fist and beat the magic barrier down.

"He was just what?" he said up to Merlin who was now perched like a gargoyle on a nearby ledge. Charles could see the magic with in him as it pulsated and gathered up. His face stone cold and his eyes full of wrath.

Merlin thought back to the party and the moments that led up to it, all the fights, the looks, the words. He then was forced to think back farther back then their arrival and came to a startling conclusion.

Arthur was jealous because he thought Merlin would find someone other then him to be close to, someone else to be a brother to.

"He was afraid that you and I would become friends because we were getting along and that the fight we had would end our friendship. Arthur's never had any friends before I came along and he thought you would ruin it. Not just you but the others as well, he was scarred! You to thought that when Arthur came back. That's why you didn't tell me! You wanted to get to know me because of who I am and you did but would you have to gain by befriending me?"

Just then, it got very cold and hazy. Merlin's bones hurt form the air as it got thick and he looked up to see thousands of demons circling Charles. He just laughed as he spoke in a native tongue and the demons raised him up.

"You're right I knew Arthur thought of you as family and only guessed you thought the same. Imagine my surprise when I found out you two weren't speaking. I took my chance and made friends with you knowing it tick him off. It was the perfect place as he was leaving, to call the demons. Oh yes, I control them, I mastered their powers to mine. Imagine the world if the penndragon were gone and Charles Du Tilian and the powerful emyras lived. Of course, you saved his life but all wasn't lost when Uther wanted you dead, it was I who told my uncle to take up the opportunity to ask you again, he would've done it anyway had I not told him to make the offer the first time."

Seeing white in front of his eyes Merlin took once glance at Arthur who eyes were close. He yelled as he took a leap of fate and tore through the demons as they scratched at his skin with their nails and the fell of their teeth around him as he landed on Charles. Charles was knocked through the air as Merlin came into a tangle with him. He struggled to take hold of his neck to send him to a deep drop to the ground, but Merlin sent a kick to his left leg making him lose his grip. Merlin swung a punch at him and got him in his face as he blasted a magic through the air. The demons reacted to their master and squeezed together surrounding them both. Charles screamed and tried to make them back off but they wouldn't listen. He felt his body burn from Merlin's contact with him.

Merlin struggled to hold on, as Charles was his only hold, he could fell him diminishing from the lack of power he was summiting now. He knew he had only one chance as he pushed off and in mid air tucked himself and his eyes glowed as he released him self to become sprawled mid air as magic tore through the sky. The demons yelled and screamed as they were hit, he watched as Charles jerked in a twitched and brought his eyes up to Merlin.

"You're wrong, Arthur didn't want me to leave, and even if he did I would never help you!"

He felt himself struggled to stay aloft and came to the ground clasping to his knees, then hit the ground. Charles lay in a pool of his own blood and wheezing. Arthur how ever seemed to come out of the bound because he sucked air thought his mouth in big gulps and his eyes cracked open, as the gated were pushed open. The knights, the king, and his counsel ran across the bride and halted were the trio laid. There were rushing of feet and hushed voices as Merlin, felt himself being hauled up into someone's arms. He cracked his eyes to see Lancelot rushing towards the castle with him.

"Lance- I want- have to- Arthur -," he coughed and closed his eyes as grogginess came over him.

"Arthur's fine. Shhh, you'll be able to see him in a bit," Lancelot said as Merlin flees asleep and he on the king's orders rushed to the ward. He had no doubt Merlin's magic exhausted him, never had he seen such magic like that from him. It seemed he was wrong the price had never been blind, it was them who were.

Outside the storm seceded into a gently hush.


	25. bedside manners and goodbyes

Three days later and much protest by Merlin he was finally able to sit by Arthur's bedside. He himself had only sustained minor injuries; his ribs were on the verge of healing, his right hand and arm were in a cloth sling-, which his friends wanted to start exercising it every hour- he also had some nice bruise along his body. All in all he wasn't dead. Arthur had been asleep all this time though the only think wrong with him were damage to his lungs. The healer that Tilian brought in had informed them that the prince may have trouble breathing some times, but was not in danger of any kind. Merlin was now sitting in the chair with his head in his hands when he heard a rustle.

Arthur opened his eyes and sat up!

Merlin was out of the chair so fast that he didn't pay any attention on how it clattered to the floor. His eyes take in the grogginess of his friend and he wonders in he had the courage to speak, but when Arthur raised his head and locked eyes he knew he had to now.

However, he didn't get a chance because Arthur started in.

"Merlin I'm so sorry for everything. I should have know Charles was…not right. I was jealous and because of that, you were hurt, twice. You are the only friend I ever had before any of this and I ruined it. I'm not as strong as I pretend to be, I'm not as dense either though I should be 'because I deserve everything that has happened to me."

He ran his hand through his hair and sat up more so he could look at Merlin. He was just staring and Arthur wished that he'd say something, anything. Clutching the covers like a scared child, he sighed.

"I said before Camelot is you're home but this place I can see why you'd want to stay."

He decided that whatever Merlin would say he would let it be no matter what. He just hoped he had enough strength left to hold in the hurt he would have at his friend leaving him.

"Arthur," Merlin said but paused. He walked around before stopping at his bedside and found his hand messing with a pitcher of water on the bedside table. How could he be so resentful for the things that had happen? Merlin didn't think he could be.

"Here I can be who I was meant to be. I am free here and Camelot can't give that to me."

He watched ah Arthur's eyes flashed and he closed them slowly. Merlin put a hand on his shoulder and he looked up at him. Smiling he finished.

"Camelot has become my home though since I set foot inside its walls. I am meant to see that you become a great king and I can't do that being here. Even if things go back to how they first were and we are not friends, I just want you to know I will always have you're back. Because since all you left I've been dreaming about going back."

Arthur rolled his eyes and swung his legs out of bed and despite Merlin's rushed complaints he gently allowed him self to stand before Merlin. He smiled at the look of surprise crossed with weariness.

"Merlin I'm glad that you will becoming home, but if you tell any one about this I will kill you."

Merlin just laughed.

* * *

><p>Later that week when Arthur had made a quick recovery and assured the knights and Merlin he was fine they meet with the king. Neither man had seen him since they were brought to the castle and even then it had just been glances. They were afraid of how the king might respond to his nephew and about Merlin.<p>

Having everything packed on to the horses, Merlin chuckled, as he was glade to be back in his normal cloths. He had discovered them in a basket in the servants corridor and had a feeling Charles put them there. He also had a felling Arthur and the knights were happy for the normalcy of things. He turned when the gates of the castle were open and the king walked out and down the steps. Calling Arthur over, they both bowed at the king.

Tilian laughed, "My friends I do not think you should have to bow to me. You have done this king done a huge favor, one that I think I can not repay."

Merlin shakes his head at the king and asks solemnly, "How can you be so happy when I've killed your only family left?"

The king's robes swung in the breeze as he looked out over the mountains and his eyes crinkled in sadness. Arthur kept quite and wondered how it could be that this king, a magic user could be forgiving when his own flesh and blood could not.

"I am sad that my nephew had died but I do not hold you responsible Merlin. He made the wrong decisions and used innocent people in his game, which I can only apologize for. I can only hope the reason you are leaving is not because of this incident."

Merlin breathed, glade the king did not blame him. He put on a mask so none would now that's what he thought. "No, that is not the reason Camelot is home to me, and my family lives there. Uther may not love my kind or me but I am willing to be at risk because of that. He needs to see that magic is not all bad.

"Then I wish you the best of luck emyras and to you Arthur the one and future king of Albion. This castle will always be open to you."

After thank-you's were exchanged and the knights were ready; they started out the gates Arthur leading and Merlin right beside him as they passed the gates and down the road Tilian smiled and said to no one, " They will go down in history those two, rather they be forgotten or not by people come time one thing will remain. I am glad they had figured what has been deep within the depths of there own sight all along."

With that, he vanished in side the castle with his own people waiting.


	26. family

Uther was having a pleasant day; the knight managed to find at least some news of Cigan and his troops and found news that Morgona was there, he had a felling Arthur would be back today, and he would take gladly in giving him a talking too. Why he decided to go with the knights to the- the kingdom was beyond him. He only hoped that if he was going there to see the boy it was out of spite. Sitting in the throne room as he listened to the people of the villages surround the castle he heard the doors bang open. Looking up he not only saw his son but that boy as well. Felling hot rage seep through him, he stormed over and called the guard to seize him. Not noticing or caring that his son was yelling he staled over only when Arthur said something that caused him to stop did he.

"Father don't ! I told Merlin to come home he _is_ my servant and friend."

Well that didn't help anything. Pushing his son none to gently out of the way he yanked the warlock by the front of his shirt and looked at him. Merlin started back his face calm and not having the frightened look he had hoped he'd have. Swearing he could smell the magic on him, Uther ram him against the wall. Not hearing the skull clank on the wall or the mummers and shoats form others or his son.

"What spell did you enchant him with? What spell did you use to make him see past the intoxicating ways of your magic?"

Merlin struggled to get away but the fist was strong like iron. He knew he could throw Uther off by the means of magic he only hoped Arthur would help him and soon. His throat being squeezed more, he was forced to look into the crazy eyes of Uther penndragon.

Uther felt strong hands grasp him and yank him off the young man as he fell to the floor. He was then shoved back into other awaiting arms and felt cool metal on his chest; Arthur was pointing his sword against him and looked ever the menacing and he growled.

"He has done nothing but saved my life again, something which you seem never to be grateful for. HE IS NOT TO BE TOUCHED!"

moving closer he slid his arm till he was almost standing nose to nose with his father and his arm vertical so his sword was long ways across his throat. He hoped as he helped Merlin up with his other hand and nodded to him that the knights wouldn't try and attack him.

"You are considered a traitor if you help him! Would you risk everything including the crown?" he asked around the sword.

Arthur smiled a smile and for a minute Uther thought that his son was back to normal as he lowered his sword and went to stand by Merlin. That was until he swung his arm around him in a friendly manner and said, "So be it! Family is more important than any gold or jewels, or power over people.

Uther was then aware of the amount of people around the room and saw the horror and the glares of the people. He also noticed the people as they stood behind Merlin and his son as if they weren't' afraid of the warlock. He knew than that they had never loved him they weren't even scared of him. They loved his son though and the way he stood for things, he did not.

Bowing his head in defeat, he said quietly, "No such thing will happen but hw can he be trusted?"

"As I sad before magic is not a thing it just is. It takes many forms you only have to know how to use it, magic is inside us all even you. You're son is a brother to me and I'm not ashamed to admit that you have my word."

It was at that moment history became true.

**Sorry for the long wait I hope you all still are with the story! Thanks for being patient please review it. It means a lot to me and lets me know what to do for my other fics! **

**One chapter left! **

**So go ahead a press that little button down there for the sake of writing!**


	27. two year later

**2 years later**

Arthur Penndragon newly crowned king sat at the round table with his knights around him, Merlin the newly appointed king's court warlock, and his betrothed Gwen by his side. It was a late afternoon and they had just finished signing a very important document with Tilian's people. They were now allies along with other kingdoms and hoped with this document they could get other's of magic to set peace with them. All were happy as Merlin curled the document up with magic and it vanishes to be set up in the throne room as well as it doubles in the library and outside the castle for all to see.

If you were to go ahead in time, you would see the other kingdom leaving and the penndragon family- Arthur considered every knight along with Merlin to be a family by brother hood and Gwen his only love but seeing as how they were still young they would wait to get married until the next summer- waved good-bye. The young men turned to fell a presence of a gaze fall on him and looked up to see Uther, who had grown mad in Merlin's arrival looking at them through his own tower Arthur had given him, when Guias who was know chief advisor to the king's guild proclaimed him king. The new king and warlock turned away and set off to the lake with the others.

They didn't know who started it but while the others swam in the summer heat Arthur and Merlin rough housed. Arthur took his arm and wrapped it around Merlin's neck making it impossible for him to get out of the hold, so he used his legs and twisted around till Arthur let him go and rolled away. He sat up a glared at Merlin for beating him.

"How you mange to do that Merlin is beyond me it's just wrong. What happen to you being so weak?"

Merlin laughed and with a wave of his hand brought leaves down on the prince, which was still wet with morning dew. "I never was weak you know, just didn't want you to have a bruised ego!"

The others laughed when they heard this and Arthur grumbled a response none of them could hear as he sat under the tree with Merlin as they watched the other resume swimming. Bringing his legs up to his chest Merlin glanced at Arthur who looked happier then he ever seen him.

"Arthur?"

Tearing his face away from the others how was surprise to see Merlin looked at him all-serious. Rotating his body so was facing Merlin he nodded his head at him.

"Why did you come back all those years ago? I mean I know you were sorry and all but I didn't think you'd actually come."

Arthur frowned for a minute and wondered why Merlin would ask that when every thing was how it should be, but he answered any way.

"Because Gwaine made me see since that I knew was there but didn't know what to do with."

"Had to slap him to make him see it to, but you know I always thought he kill me when time permitted I guess I'm just a guy you can't stay mad at!" Gwaine joked from the water.

They laughed and Merlin with a set look got up and left towards the castle and Arthur looked at him as he disappeared. Fear gripped him and he wondered if he did something or said something. Did the truth upset him? He meant to go after him but Gwen stopped him by tugging on his arm.

"Arthur you didn't do anything, he's not mad at you he'll be back." She said with a smile that left Arthur thinking she knew something.

He did come back much to Arthur's relief and sat down next to him and pushed him an old letter. Taking it he looked at Merlin who was not looking at him anymore and he read it.

_Ever since I could recall I thought of Camelot as home since I stepped through the gates. It was everything to me because it had people I cared about in side, people I couldn't entrust with my secret. Then I figured out who I was I was emyras a powerful warlock and I was to help you Arthur and protect you. _

_I can't do that now I lost everything doing what I was meant to be doing. It's like a twisted and cruel punishment. Watching as you and the knights rode away. I can't seem to recall what set the whole thing off in the first place. _

_Arthur – here there was a scribbled mark as if they were confused or shaking- I don't blame you. I should oh I should but I don't. It is not your fault; I knew this as soon as it all happened. I understand why you didn't open your mouth I do. Just please don't hate me besides the knights and Gauis you are the only one that can keep me grounded as Uther kills my people._

_Don't hate me please._

_Merlin_

As Arthur read the letter he did something which shocked everyone, he cried and cried and he quickly pulled Merlin into a hug and let go. He laughed and smiled through his tears.

"You fool!" he said well naturally.

Merlin wiped his eyes and tears gathered and he too laughed as the others joined them on the grass. They sat around enjoying other's company as it grew late into the evening ad the sun sat. They still laughed and watched the stars appeared as each marveled how different their world was now, yet in seemed it was always suppose to end up as it was all along.

Funny what secrets could reveal.


End file.
